Fake tanning... the bain of my life.
At work today i threw my hair back into a ponytail (to get down to come serious work obv) and noticed a fucking white ring around my wrist where i had forgotten to take my hairband off when putting fake tan on. For fucks sake.
Over the years i've come to terms with the gingerness. That's cool. But the pastiness is my new moaning point. It's not fun when you point blank avoid colours when clothes shopping because your pasty shit white skin will clash. To remedy this, and to avoid streaks through fake tanning (see above for tanning gaff..)i decided to visit a tanning shop. Which was fun until the lasy politely informed me that if i have a lot of freckles, tanning can be a bit dangerous and i really should be either avoiding it all together or wearing near sun block. Thanks love- you think MAYBE you could have told me that when i started coming a month ago?
I read somewhere that freckles are a pigment malfunction... when you're skin pigment systems get a little confused. Fountian of all knowledge,wikipedia, says that freckles are clusters of melanin (?) which are visible on light skin. They say that when melanin is concentrated in places instead of evenly spread in the case of dark and olive skinned people (you bastards) the tolerance to UV light is lower, hence why us milkbottles are more likely to get skin cancer. So it's bye bye tan tan, hello tan in a bottle.
Fake tanning is a lot harder than it looks. I mean, are you supposed to leave underwear lines like a real tan? How do you recreate that telltale just-burnt cheeks? And how the HELL are you supposed to get the middle of your back? Do you need a degree in engineering or something?
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