Conversation last night at work with my gorgeous mate Sarah...
Me: "I think he's just dashing. I mean, can you imagine it? I'd love for him to just sit and play me songs and sing TO me you know?"
Sarah: "I can't think of anything worse. I think i'd rather eat my own face."
Me: "Why??? I love all that romantic mushy stuff."
Sarah: "You're on your own there babe!"
Sarah has a point... where has all the romance gone?
There are times when i genuinely think i was born at the wrong time. When it comes to matters of the heart and relationships... i feel like i should have been born within the walls of Verona, in New York with Benando and the Sharks, on in the Yorkshire moors near Wuthering Heights. I love love. I love being in love, and loving someone and being loved back. I love caring for someone, making them laugh and sharing memorable experiences. When i look back at all the romantic things i've done for any of my exes, i think of loads of things. Turning up at Tom's house wearing nothing but a coat and heels when he was feeling down one morning before college. Romantic weekends in Stratford with Dan; little b&b, some Shakespeare and a nice meal. Cards and little gifts on Steve's pillow so he would smile when he got home from work. It's just who i am and who i've always been. Making funny faces in a photo booth and sending the pictures to an ex i hadn't seen for weeks. Funny poems and notes, little naughty messages, roses, suprise meals at home and out.... i like doing those sorts of things.
Every weekend, my and my mates will go out after work for a drink or three. I look around and feel like i don't fit in. Every club is like a cattle market, packs of girls and guys furiously trying to secure a mate for the night. Taking them home and having drunken sex, only to wake up in the morning with the realisation that it was only lust. It meant nothing and one or the other has to crawl out of bed and make the long lonely journey home.
Being single for the first time in a long time, i feel so sad and disheartened at this concept. I dont want to be a conquest for someone, and likewise, i dont want to be the kind of girl that wakes up with someone she regrets sleeping with. I want more. I want chemistry and magic... if it still exists.
It's a minefield. Noone dates any more, noone waits to sleep with that special someone. Where's the wooing? Where are the sweet nothings and suprises? In a world where everyone lives at a hundred miles an hour is there something other than 'fast love'? Why does noone play the long game anymore? Surely everything is better (and yes, i'm mainly talking about the physical side here) when there is magic and feeling? I can hardly imagine you are going to feel your heart flip when you and the guy who's name you cant remember drag yourselves back to his flat for a quickie.
Pulling, one night stands, drunken snogs... is that all there is now? What's wrong with romance? Is it not cool anymore? Do people avoid it because it takes too long, or looks sad, or maybe too clingy? Does anyone think about weekends in Paris, and roses and suprises anymore?
Is it wrong to want more? Am i really alone here?
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3 comments:
We live in an instant gratification society. Fast food, instant messaging, buy now/pay later, instant downloads, faster planes/trains - it's all there for people who want it now, now, now. Is technology responsible for making it all possible, or is it driven by society's impatient demands?
I used to save up for months to buy things I wanted when I was young. You'd wait for weeks for a song to be released, wait for the weekend so you could trek in to town, come home with a bag of CDs and listen right through them all. (Don't even get me started on the disposable commodity that music has turned into over the last couple of years...) All that waiting and anticipating was part of the ritual. Anything that's difficult or more time consuming to get will always be valued more than something fast and easy (yes, I'm talking about people as well as commodities.)
How often do you hear people saying, "Oh, I've not got time for that!", or "That'll take far too long"? Where did all the time go? Do our ever more hectic lifestyles really preclude any possibility of using real words in our texts - it doesn't take that long to type a couple more characters.
Take heed of Louis Armstrong's lyrics - the man knew what he was talking about. Patience is still a virtue; the best things still do come to those who wait. While the rest of he world burns itself out, I'll be reaping the benefits of taking it slowly. There'll always be time for romance. It just takes a little more effort now than it once did to find that time. When both people make the effort, that's when something really special happens; the tragedy for those who don't make the effort is that they'll never know what they're missing out on.
Instant messaging? Humbug! Replies on a postcard please.
lol couldn't agree more, stranger! xxx
I take the time to send my other half flowers at work (even though I had to ring around to find out the address) - suprise her with theatre tickets when she's least expecting it - I hand make her birthday and valentines cards - so it has a bit more of a personal meaning I even write little poems for her on flower cards and stuff... I'm planning on taking her to Rome for a week for her birthday in a few months - but not tell her, just book the time off work for her without her knowing ;)
So i'd say romance isn't dead. But I do have to say I dont feel romance is appreciated as much nowadays, I do these things and a day or two later it's forgotten about.
:S
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