Letter to myself...

Dear Rach,

I've been wanting to write to you for a long time, but i guess I've been struggling to build up the courage to do so.

I want to apologise. I want to say sorry for neglecting you and forgetting just how much you are worth. I'm sorry for letting you get walked over and shouted at and treated badly, and I'm sorry for not being there when you needed me.

Things haven't been easy for me. I've felt so weak and worthless and not good enough. But enough is enough and I'm finally awake again. I kicked away my demons and have found something that makes me happy beyond belief. So its time i made amends.

There are a few things i need to say, and in my typical style I'm going to bullet point them for you... maybe it might do you some good to read this once in a while...

1. Believe. Good things will happen, and please stop thinking that it's all too good to be true. You are a lovely person and deserve it. Things do go wrong, but just learn from it and move on.

2. Please don't dwell on the past. Yes, things haven't been great. But things happen for a reason and you're learnt from it. Be positive and smile that lovely smile.

3. Don't change. Your selflessness and kindness are attributes, not flaws. You're an fun, funny girl... a talented dancer and bartender and are a cute games geek. Sure, you can't cook for shit, but you have more than enough great things about you to make up for it. And there's always Nigella for a bit of cheating ;)

4. Go easy on yourself. So you do something wrong, but is there any need to beat yourself up for days? No. Take a breath, smile and laugh and move on. Everybody makes mistakes.

5. Say what you think. You've already proved that saying what's in your heart can open up a door to something incredible. Keep doing it Rach.

Remember, I'm always here for you and things will be a lot different from now on. And please know that i'm so so sorry.

A new chapter.

Love always,

Rach xxx