First of all. I'm not gay. Not even a tiny bit. At least i don't think so?
But over the past week i've has several dreams where i've got up to some very random acts with none other than Lindsay Lohan. The first one was a few weeks ago when i dreamt that i was at a urban basement club (not The basement) with my housemate Michaela and Lindsay. Michaela and i had decided to leave early becuase we needed to get Gaz home as he was wasted, but as we got about halfway home we decided that we wanted to go back to the party and left Gaz in the middle of the road. Back at the club i met up with Linsday, and we had a very visual conversation about each other's boobs where we kept grabbing each others breasts in front of all our lad mates. Then the night passed in a whirl of events; me and Lindsay doing coke off a toilet seat (nb i am 100% drug free), us dancing and laughing and the high point of the night when she said i was gorgeous and could i help her sign some autographs?
So far, i have been swimming with Lindsay, partied with Lindsay and even kissed Lindsay a few times. Last night, fast asleep next to Steve, i dreamt i was a shy (but gorgeous) nurse assigned t Lindsay's bedside to look after her while she was in a coma. I read to her for weeks and finally she came round, thanking me again and again for helping her to come back to the real world and she must do something to repay me. She swore she would help me turn my back on my shy tendancies and turned me into the belle of the ball, through various trips to designer shops, hairdressers and through many druken nights on podiums at a few LA clubs.
I'm beginning to get worried. Steve however, thinks it's ace. I think he thinks i'm about to stumble upon the weird and wonderful world of bisexuality, which he wouldn't mind too much.
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