A strip club?? Well, it seemed like a great idea at the time

I'm beginning to think that drunk me is a person that should never ever be let out to play. Because bar a few precious nights out (i'm thinking Xmas eve and NYE here) i always tend to do something stupid/silly/mean/naughty/ embarrasing.

Example, last thursday. Ash's girly night out. I distinctly remember saying that day at work that i wasn't going to drink anything at all because i was low on money and really needed to pay my rent. Yet, very stupidly i got a £50 sub and went out that night ready for a large one. Big mistake. Ash works at Time, and like Turkey's at the Turkey she gets stupidly cheap drinks, cocktails and shots.... so for £10 we had about 8 cocktails, 2 beers, about 15 shots and a few drinks. I was hammered. But then, out of nowhere someone suggested we go to the Aviary and drunk me, the evil bitch that she is, said that would be a very good idea and we should go.

I knew it was a very bad idea te second we walked in. Men in suits drinking whisky on ice (cos that's oh-so-cool right?) and scantily clad girls everywhere. Now, i'm of the opinion that if you've got it, flaunt it. But if you happen to be a size 16, cellulite ridden lady wearing more make up than Pete Burns on a big night out then you might want to consider a different profession... some of the girls looked gorgeous (and i ended up spending my first tne minutes in the club hiding in the toilets worried i looked ugly), but some just looked horrendous. A fact that we couldn't hide and ended up in fts of giggles while watching some of the dancers. To which one stripper came over and not-so-polietly asked us if we were laughing at them. Ash managed to convince them that no, we weren't laughing in a mean way, we simply couldn't believe how great they all were. Crisis averted we thought, until the stripper then asked if we wanted a job!? Not good.

Hours later, drunk Rach was on her way home and fell out of the taxi, leaving sober Rach to find a lovely bruise on her bum and a stomach full of nasty alcohol... which all came back up the moment she arrived at work. Nice.

Moral of the story? Don't go to a strip club. And don't mix your drinks.